Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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