I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
