we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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