Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
