i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
