So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
