then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
