Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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