I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
