i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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