Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
