we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
being pregnant is like rehab
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
