Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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