i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
