Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize