you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
