Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
