I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
