Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
