I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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