if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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