I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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