Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
