I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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