we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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