Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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