sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
