Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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