Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
