Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
her facebook's as public as her vagina
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
