your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
