dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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