The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
