people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
