we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize