I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
