Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize