You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
