My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
