I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
