You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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