i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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