he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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