and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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