I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
