a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
