so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm always down for nudity.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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