ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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