She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
