shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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