just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
