I showed him my bush... on skype.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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