i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
