are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
