yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
