sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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