I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
