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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Why do girls always cry at the bar?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo

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• (585): View more from New York

  It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college

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• (209): View more from California

  My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!

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