What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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