I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
