Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
