I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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