Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
