So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Alive.
So much puke
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
