You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
