just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
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