just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
