I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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