I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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