is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
