I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize