I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
