True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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