dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
