The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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