How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
