Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
