everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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