its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
